Every year, friends, family and avid golfers get together to celebrate my brother Connor. Teams of four go out on the golf course Connor grew up on to play in his honour and memory. Every golfer leaves with a prize, including food and candy stations throughout the course, 50 50, silent auctions, and much more! It is an amazing day on the Sunshine Coast to celebrate Connor.
Life feels great until it doesn’t. Boy oh boy doesn’t that hold true. Walking down the street of my sweet little Peruvian neighbourhood, hand in hand with my husband, on route to meet our friends, the sun is shining, the rest of the day is free — that’s a pretty picture to paint. But suddenly I have this uneasy feeling and turn to my husband and ask, “is it possible to be content and happy in a not-so-great situation?”
I think my grief had finally manifested into something tangible and I was finally recognizing the severity of what was happening inside me. I knew that this was something that could be so easily overlooked for me personally but I think for a lot of other individuals too.
We are taught mathematics and sciences, biology and anatomy, how to be polite, how to dress for an interview, how to write a cover letter, how to impress someone on a first date, when to text your crush back, yet we are never taught anything on grief. Not one thing.
No.It’s not easier. I thought that saying “time heels everything” would actually mean something in this situation. Maybe time equals 20 years. Half a life time. A full life time. I guess so.. because time is not making anything easier.
I know you’ve lost someone and it hurts. You may have lost them suddenly, unexpectedly. Or perhaps you began losing pieces of them until one day, there was nothing left. You may have known them all your life or may have barely known them at all. Either way, it is irrelevant – you cannot control the depth of a wound another soul inflicts upon you.
The first three words that come to mind are passion, dedication and hard work. Like Stuart, he competed in every single sport, and did it the best. Connor was the flashier player; always had the brightest sport shoes, would pull all-star status moves around 3 defenders before sailing the soccer ball over the goalie,